I did something arguably cool.
My anxiety rarely let’s me speak up in the moment. If someone is doing something wrong/dick-ish/annoying, I can’t ever call them out for it in the moment. I’m annoyed and walk away. I have a panic attack thinking about confronting them about it. Spend minutes to hours building up what I’m going to say to them. Maybe approach them at a later time about what I saw or “perceived”. The PC talk is strong in me when I’m at work. Oftentimes, I just bear it in silence.
I’ve been doing a lot of Orientations this week. I have a new employee who didn’t come to her scheduled Orientation. Forgot completely, apparently. In my infinite mercy and grace, I told her she could come to the next one I was doing. She apologized. I figured everything would be fine.
There’s a part in the employee handbook that we read through about cell phones, essentially saying that they are a distraction to them and guests and should only be kept in the break room. Obvious and basic shit. Literally, not two minutes after I read this section to them, I see her on her phone texting. Now. I know Orientation is boring, but there was a grand total of three of us sitting at a table. She was a foot away from me. At least the other girl was attempting to look engaged. Like, how does she expect to make it in a customer-centric field if she can’t fake interest? Also, she missed the first Orientation, already looks bad for it, and I’m her goddamn boss. How dare she? Right?
I found myself just continuing on without mentioning it. She didn’t catch my glares, her eyes were too glued to the phone. I kept telling myself that I should say something, but that start a panic in my chest. I didn’t think I would, but then she’d think she could just do anything she wanted in front of me without being called on it.
I had a majestic FUCK IT moment. I looked over at her and said, “Hey, is that a conversation you need to go in the hall to finish so we can continue?” She almost threw her phone away from her. She apologized then and again after.
After Orientation when she apologized, I found myself trying to deflect the apology. I almost told her it was okay, but then I realized it really wasn’t okay, so instead of going, “Oh it wasn’t a big deal, no problem, it’s okay,” etc. I thanked her for apologizing, reaffirming that she’d done something not acceptable for work hours and she should apologize for it.
I felt so powerful. Ah! Can you get drunk off the feeling of personal growth? Cause that’s what’s going on. Boom.
Peace out to sit on my laurels, yo.